I wanna Be
by Mrs.Westwick
Summary: This is a Chuck and Blair Fic...Takes place after epy2.08...What i wouldve liked...chuck and blair finally together...What happens when they let go of their worlds and risk it all to be together?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guy's My name is Bee, and This is my first story for gossip girls and I would love to get feedback from u guys on how I'm doing so thanks enjoy! I don't own Gossip girls, This chapter is after 2.08 so I hope u like.**

**I wanna Be**

Chapter 1- Just because we can't say it doesn't mean its not true

Blair set there still as she seen him vanish through her door. She let the tears fall from her face. She wished it would have went differently. She just wanted to be with him. They didn't have to be the couple who held hands, or went to the movies. She wasn't asking for none of that she just wanted to be with him. She wanted to be his only girl, she didn't want him with anyone else and she didn't want anyone else. She wiped the tears from her cheeks. She knew what he said was true though. She was just as scared as he was about were their relationship would go without all the manipulation and scandals, but she knew it would be worth it. She didn't want to wait anymore. She knew she loved him and she was positive now that he loved her. She didn't care anymore what other people thought or what they said. She was happy with Chuck Bass and she didn't want anything else.

Chuck sighed as he plopped on his bed, he had run from the only girl he had ever loved. The one girl that made him happy and showed the real Chuck Bass. The truth was he was just scared to lose her, or hurt her anymore than he had. He loved Blair Waldorf, he was just to scared to say those three eight letter words. He heard a knock on his door and a crack as it opened.

"Go Away!" Chuck said frustrated, not even looking to see who it was.

"Are you sure you want me to leave?" The fragile brunette said with her tear stained face.

"Blair?" Chuck said with surprise. He looked at her face and seen the hurt. It made him his heart ache when he seen her like this. He never wanted her to hurt like this, he was trying to make it better for her. She just couldn't stop insisting. He knew she loved him and she wanted this and she was ready for it, but he was scared. He was scared he was going to hurt her more than he already and he didn't want that to happen.

"Blair, I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you. I didn't know it was you." Chuck said walking over to her. He looked into her brown doe eyes and smiled. He couldn't help it she was just the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He saw a tear fall from her eye. He moved his hand to her cheek and wiped it away.

"What's wrong B, why are you crying?"

She couldn't say anything, she just looked at him. She finally just moved closer to him and let him envelope her. She sobbed into him as he kissed her on her head. She wanted him, she wanted it all.

"I cant do this anymore Chuck."

"I know and I'm sorry B I never meant to hurt you. I understand if you don't want to see me again."

"What? No you got the wrong idea. I know you think we should wait. I think your wrong, I get that your scared ok so am I. I don't care what people think or say anymore though I just want to be with you."

Chuck smiled down at her. He wiped away a few more tears and kissed her on her for head.

"B are you sure about this. People are going to talk, their going to be mean. I can do this if you can. I'm ready for it to. I will be true to you and you only I promise you can trust me. This is up to you B, but remember the game is over when we start this all. Its just me and you no game."

Blair smiled as she hugged him.

"Of course I'm sure Chuck Bass. I trust you more than you know!"

Chuck looked down at her and kissed her gently before pulling away god he loved this girl.

"Just because we cant say it doesn't mean its not true B." Chuck said smirking.

Blair smiled, she didn't care who heard her anymore. She was done being afraid.

"I love you Chuck Bass." Blair said smirking back at him.

He wanted to jump with excitement but he contained himself. She had just said she loved him. She is in love with him. He had been determined to get her to say it first, he was to scared she was going to bail if he was to say it. She told him she would never say those words to him, but she had just said those three eight letter words. He cupped her face into his hands and kissed her with more passion than he had ever kissed anyone. He knew this was his girl, he knew him and Blair was meant to be. He broke the kiss and looked in her brown eyes. He didn't see the hurt anymore he seen the love.

"I love you to Blair Waldorf."

Blair smiled as she kissed him deeply. All the fears she had ever had vanished. She now knew she would never be alone, she had him. She knew Chuck would always be there for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**I Wanna Be Ch 2**

Blair swiftly walked out on to the streets of the UES. She smiled as she saw his limo waiting on her. She seen him stick his head out and smile at her.

"Good morning my beautiful girlfriend." Chuck said as he got out and opened the door for her. When she slid past him he grabbed her and pulled her toward him. He leaned down and kissed her. He loved the way she made him fill, he felt his heart race beat faster as she inched closer to him. He pulled away for air. "Okay get in."

She did as she was asked. Only to be rammed against his body when the door was closed. She felt how hard he was when he grinded against her. She let out a soft moan. She hated the way he had control over her like this. She pulled away for air. She could see the lust he had in his eyes. She knew what he wanted, because she also wanted the same thing.

He could see the lust in her eyes. He kissed her deeply before moving to her neck. He knew every part of her. He knew what she like and what she didn't like. He heard her moan as he sucked on her ear. He ran his hand up her thigh, he jerked her barely there panties off and felt her wetness. He moaned as she felt his erection, he quickly undid his pants.

"Chuck please…" Blair moaned.

"Say it?"

"Chuck!" Blair said angrily. She loved this man but she knew this was still them. She knew he was still going to make her say the things he wanted and do the things he wanted.

"Say it baby and I'll give you everything you want."

"Make love to me Chuck."

That was all he needed to here. He quickly with one swift motion rammed into her. He heard her scream with pleasure.

"Oh God…Chuck!"

He felt her grinding with his pace. He moaned in her ear, she knew how to do all the right things. He moved in her harder and deeper. He could feel her begging for more. He was so enveloped in her every move, sound, and breath. He couldn't get enough and yet he had it all. He wanted more of her and yet he had her all. He could feel her getting ready to reach her climax.

"Oh god…Please…Chuck!" She screamed as she released herself. She felt him shortly afterwards. He laid on top of her as they caught there breaths.

"I love you Waldorf."

"I love you to Bass."

"Well lets do this the right way. No hiding this anymore, lets show them all what we are." chuck said as he finished fixing his appearance. He opened the door as he knew she was ready. He held out his hand to her. She kindly accepted it and stepped out. Instead of letting it go, she held onto it. She saw the stares and the glares. She didn't care though. He leaned down and kissed her with as much passion as he did in the limo.

"Let me walk you to class, Waldorf." He said smiling to her as he grabbed her books from her, not to break there hold. TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

I Wanna Be CH 3

One month later…

I freaked out as I paced back and fourth in the bathroom. Oh shit what the fuck was going on! What the fuck had I done! FUCK my life! I looked at the pink line on the test and groaned. There was no way in hell I could be pregnant by Chuck Bass. I bit the bottom of my lip and sighed. How in the hell as I going to tell him this. We both had such big lives ahead of us. I was going to go to Yale and maybe he was to, I don't really know but we was sure as hell not ready to take care of a kid. I knew this was bad, but I also new there was no way I could have an abortion. I picked up the phone as the tears overflowed. I knew Serena would understand.

"Hey B!"

"S…" I said as I cried into the phone.

"B, what's wrong are you okay?"

I just cried in the phone as she expressed her worries to me.

"I'm on my way…be there shortly B."

I then heard the dial tone. I knew she would always be there for me that was why I called her first. I didn't know how I was going to tell my mother her daughter, her beautiful daughter was pregnant. I had ruined my life, all because I loved a boy. A boy, how was I going to tell Chuck about this. I dreaded the conversation with him. Heard Serena yell my name and then she busted into the bathroom. She quickly enveloped me into her arms and I sobbed. I don't ever remember crying like this. I was shaking.

"Did he hurt you B."

"No…"

I felt Serena pull me away and look at me.

"B your scaring me please just tell me what's going on?"

I just handed her the little tube I had peed on. I looked away as she looked at me shocked. I felt ashamed, I felt like a whore.

"B, you…I…It's going to be okay."

"Okay…S I'm pregnant. How am I going to tell my mother this. How am I going to explain this to Chuck!"

"B you know Chuck will be there for you, he loves you."

"I know this S but I don't want to ruin his life. He has so much going for him. I don't want to ruin this S…"

"Look when your mother gets home I will talk to her with you okay. I wont leave you during this. I will be there for you B I promise."

I let her hug me and I cried again. I was terrified to tell my mother. I knew she was going to kill me. I knew how much she wanted better for me. I had ruined her dreams. I knew what I had to do. I knew I was going to tell her but I didn't plan on telling Chuck. I loved him more than anything but I was not going to ruin his life I wouldn't. I had to run, I had to go far away. No one else could know about this. I had to leave the UES…


	4. Chapter 4

I Wanna Be CH 4

3 Years Later

I sighed as I set down on the couch in my new Denver home. I had moved to Colorado about 3 years ago after I had found out I as pregnant. I had ended up talking to my mom and Serena that night and of course my mom freaked out. I told her my plan to move away and not ruin Chucks life and she bought me a plane ticket that night. I left the next day without a word good-bye to him. I thought about him everyday though. Especially when I looked into our daughters eyes. She was identical to him. She had every Bass feature you could imagine. I guess I got cursed for my doing. I loved my daughter with everything I had though. She was my world now, she was a little over two years old almost two and a half. I had named her in mind of Chuck though.

FLASHBACK

"So when you get older do you want to have kids Chuck Bass?"

"Yes I do Waldorf, what's it to you."

"Well my love I was thinking it will probably be with me." I said giggling.

"Well it probably will be considering you're the only woman I will ever love."

"What name do you want if it's a girl?"

"Sophia Marie Bass"

"Sophia I love it…"

"Sophia means Wisdom and I know that my daughter is going to be very bright."

"Okay so what about a boy…"

END FLASHBACK

I had named her Sophia Marie Waldorf. I wanted her last name to be Bass, but he wasn't there to sign off on it. This was because of me though. I had never told him I had a kid let alone his daughter. I had just ran and never spoke to him again. I still speak to my mother and Serena. These are the only two people who know what happened to me. Well Dan knows to but I don't blame Serena for that. Dan is her soon to be husband now after all. I don't know how I'm going to attend her wedding but I know I'm her maid of honor and she is making me go. I just know Chuck is going to be there though. I think about Chuck every day. I missed him more than he new. I asked Serena about him every time I talk to him. She knows this considering he is her brother now days. She tells me he is doing fine and is back to his normal self. This hurt me when I heard this though. At first he was depressed and begged Serena to tell him but she lied and told him she had no clue were I had went. After about 6 months she said he was still bitter but he started going out and sleeping around with girls like he had before we had fallen in love. I still don't have no one in my life. I am single and life with my daughter. I do love my life because of her though. I attend a small private college and I have a nanny for Sophia during the day while I'm at school. I jumped out of my thoughts as I heard my phone ring.

"Hey S…"

"Hey B, what are you up to?"

"Nothing just laid Sophia down for a nap."

"Okay great well I emailed you some pictures of my dress and I cant wait for you to see it! Me and your mom sent your plane ticket off for you and Sophia this morning."

"S!"

"B! This is my wedding okay, you are my maid of honor. I know this is going to be hard, because yes he is going to be there. Me and your mom talked about it and we think maybe it's time you told Chuck about Sophia."

"NO!"

"B…"

"Look okay I will be there but Sophia will not be attending your wedding S! Is that understood. I will attend your wedding and Dorota will watch her at you house while I'm there. I will go back after the wedding and pick her up and I will leave."

"Okay that's good enough for me but after my honey moon me and Dan are coming there to stay for a week."

"Okay I would love to have the both of you and I know Sophia misses her Auntie S!"

"Okay well B I got to go to this meeting I will see you in a few days love you!"

"Love you to…" I hung up the phone and sighed…TBC


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys its bee I am back with chapter five this is the longest one I have wrote so far I hope you like it. Thank everyone for all the replies I really appreciate your support. I am a huge GG supporter and I love Chuck and Blair this is my first story for GG so I know I need a little work but I'm trying so give me feedback and I will work on what I need to so let me know_

_xoxoBee_

_I Wanna Be Ch 5_

_I stepped out of the car and breathed in the New York air. I smiled as I looked up at my old building. I grabbed Sophia's hand and started walking towards the door. I knew I shouldn't have stayed outside to long I didn't want to be spotted on gossip girl's radar. I stepped into the elevator and smiled at my over excited daughter. She couldn't retain the smile spread across her lips. She kept going on about seeing grandma and her Auntie S. As soon as the doors open I took a deep breath as Sophia took off running into her grandmas arms. I felt Serena wrap her arms around me and say something about how glad she was I was here. I walked over to my mom and let her embrace me. I had grown remotely close to my mother since I had left the UES. We talked everyday and she came to see me and Sophia as much as possible. I wouldn't have made it without her she supports me and Sophia while I'm in school. She understands its hard being a single mother and she knows I need to get an education but still spend time with my daughter. So we both agreed to me not working until I graduated school. _

"_B, I'm so glad you are here for me. You look so great!" Serena squealed._

"_So do you S. I'm happy I could be here for you."_

"_Okay well lets all head into the living room and catch up." My mother chipped in. "Come with Grandma Sophia."_

_I looked at Serena as she checked her phone and saw the look on her face. I was pretty sure I knew what It was. _

"_Gossip Girl?"_

"_Yeah, look B don't worry about it okay Chuck was going to find out sooner or later." _

"_I know I guess its better for him to find out now that to see me at the wedding. Did she mention anything about Sophia?"_

"_Do you want me to read it to you?"_

_I just nodded my head_

"_Looks like Queen B was spotted back in the UES, I guess S wedding brought her back into town. Oh but wait what do we have here a little Queen B by her side I see. I don't remember B leaving with a daughter…" _

_I cringed I knew Chuck was going to wonder who in the hell I had a kid with an I knew I was going to have to answer him when I saw him. I knew this was a bad idea. I was not going to tell Chuck Bass he had a daughter I just wasn't going to do it. _

"_Okay well since my wedding is in the morning we need to do your fitting for your dress and then I say we get some rest. We are staying here, your mom is going to help us get ready in the morning."_

"_I'm so happy for you S. Dan is a great guy." I said a little jealous._

"_I know you will find someone like him one day B don't worry."_

"_Okay so the fitting yes lets go…"_

_I slipped into the beautiful long strapless red dress. I had a crystal in between my chest at the center and it flowed out after my hips, not a lot though. It was very flattering. I smiled at her and complimented her taste. _

"_I love it S…"_

"_Great you look amazing now lets get this off I need to get some beauty sleep before my big day."_

_I slipped out of the dress and went to get Sophia ready for bed…_

_Chuck picked up his phone and read the text from Gossip Girl. He almost choked as he read the text. She was back after three years she had returned. She had came back but not alone. She has a daughter? What who in the hell did she have a kid with. He felt the lump in his throat, that was there dream. He hadn't felt like this since the day she had left him. She left without a word, not even a text just left him. He had never loved any girl besides Blair. She was his sweet innocent Blair and now she had a kid. He picked up his drink and downed it. He walked out of the bar without saying a word to the girl he had planned on sleeping with for the night…_

"_Blair!" Serena yelled as she threw a pillow at the fragile brunette._

"_What? I'm up I promise…" I groaned as I got out of bed to look at my best friend who already had her hair done. I smiled at her she looked beautiful. _

"_Okay finally! Go get you hair done."_

_I jumped off the bed and walked into one of the many rooms in my house and smiled at the hair dresser. I set down and let him do his work. I knew what he was doing though Serena had warned me. It was going to be down in lose curls and with the top pinned up to make some volume. I set there patiently as he took forever. I knew Sophia would be getting up soon and I needed to make her break feast._

"_Mom, how much longer do you think this is going to take, Sophia needs her break feast"_

"_Oh honey she got up about an hour ago, she already ate. I made her some waffles."_

_I smiled to myself. My mother was cooking now, well making waffles. She had been quite the grandma, she loved her grand daughter more than anything and spoiled her rotten._

"_Thank you mother."_

"_All done Miss Waldorf!" HE chimed in._

_I looked in the mirror and saw perfect hair. It was all in place and looked amazing. I smiled and got out of the chair to head in and do my make-up. I had to admit I was nervous. I barely slept last night I was to worried about seeing Chuck. I knew I had to act normal around him and not like a love struck seventeen year old. I still loved him though, and I always would…_

_Dan took a few deep breaths as he fixed is tie. He was hoping Serena had mentioned to Blair that she was paired with Chuck for their wedding. Chuck was his best man. Him and Chuck had become good friends over the past three years and he agreed to be his best man. Nathaniel was one of his groomsmen._

"_Okay well I'm going to head into the church the girls are on there way in. Oh and Chuck please be nice for me?" _

"_Yeah, I will for now." Chuck said smirking. _

_He watched as he saw Serena enter the building just as Dan exited. He smiled at his sister. She looked beautiful, then his smiled faded as he saw her. He felt his heart race up and his palms got sweaty. She still had that effect on him even after what she did. He hugged Serena and looked over at Blair…_

_I walked in behind Serena and spotted him first. I wanted to throw up, he still made my heart race a hundred miles and hour and my knees felt weak. I seen his eyes on me and I suddenly felt very self conscious. I couldn't even bear to look at him._

"_Well well look who made her return? So were did you go the past three years? To the peace core? Dads? Oh wait I know you left to get knocked up by another man! It's good to see you Waldorf. So what's her name?" Chuck said sarcastically._

"_Chuck!" Serena spat out._

"_No it's okay S let him be rude."_

"_Me be rude…never…you a whore…always"_

_I cringed at his words. I knew he was going to be mean but this I never expected from Chuck._

"_Well Sister did you even bother to tell Waldorf we had to walk down the aisle together?"_

_I glared at Serena…_

"_Um…Did I forget to mention that part?"_

"_Yes you did! But this is your day so I'm happy for you, I love you."_

"_Thanks B now lets get moving… Everyone line up its time!" Serena yelled. _

_I stood by Chuck and didn't even bother to look at him. I felt him pull me closer and lock my arm into his. I glared at him and quickly looked away. I was worried about Sophia. I knew she was okay with Dorota but I still worried sometimes. I knew I just had to go to the reception at S house and then I would go pick Sophia up and that was it. We was back to Colorado. I took a few breaths as the doors opened. I smiled as I walked down the aisle arm in arm with Chuck Bass. His touch made me tingle. I still loved this man like I had never left. I stood there and watched as S made her entrance. She looked elegant and more than anything she looked happy. I smiled at her as she walked up to face Dan. I listened to the preacher as he spoke the words of love and I felt sad. I felt the tears well up and I knew I was going to cry. I was happy for my best friend but I was also sad that it wasn't me getting married. I knew I should have been up there with Chuck. I felt a few tears fall out and I wiped them away. I looked over to see Chuck watching me intently. I id I didn't know any better I was pretty sure he was thinking about the same thing. I looked away and listened to the preacher pronounce them husband and wife. I smiled and watched as Serena and Dan exited. I waited till it was my turn to move and without looking at him I locked arms and started to walk. I felt him lean down and touch my ear with his soft lips._

"_I cant wait to meet the lucky guy…"_

_I cringed and as soon as we got out of the church and the doors closed I jerked away from him. _

"_Get away from me Bass!"_

"_Oh please Waldorf don't flatter yourself. Belief me I'm long over you…" He said lying. _

_I looked away from him to hide the hurt and walked away. I knew I needed to get back and help Serena's mom finish getting everything ready before the reception…_

"_Blair, sweet heart its so good to see you." _

"_Oh you to Mrs. Bass." I hugged her lightly and then pulled away. "Okay were do you want me to start?"_

"_How about you…"_

"_Mommy!" Sophia squealed out. _

_I stood there shocked as I looked at my daughter. I raised my head to see my mother._

"_Mother!"_

"_Blair look she missed you, and I think the time is right no one is here yet."_

"_Oh Blair…" Mrs. Bass stated knowing who's child it was._

"_Look mother take her now he will be here anytime!" I said to her angrily._

"_What's all the yelling about in here?" Chuck said entering the room._

_I stood shocked as I looked at him. He saw the fear on my face and looked at the little girl next to me. I seen the look on his face. He glared at me and then looked back at her. I had never seen so many emotions come from him. I saw confusion, fear, anger, disgust, and then something I didn't expect joy. He smiled at the little girl and walked closer. He stopped in front of me and glared. He bent down in front of Sophia and smiled._

"_Well hello there sweetheart." _

_I felt my heart drop this was not the way it was supposed to be. This was not how I wanted him to find out. I heard Serena and Dan laughing as they entered the building. I seen her face drop as she saw Chuck and Sophia. I felt the tears fall out of my eyes. _

"_Hi my name is Sophia Marie Waldorf, it's a pleasure to meet you. What's your name sir?"_

_I seen the look of sadness cross his face. I was pretty sure he was about to cry._

"_My name is Chuck Bass, its also a pleasure to meet you." He choked out._

_I watched him stand up and he looked me straight in the eyes. _

"_Sophia sweetie come with grandma." _

_I watched as my mother and Mrs. Bass exited the room. I gave Serena a pleading look and I knew she would stay._

_I looked down to break his stare. I could feel the disgust coming off his glare. I looked back up to see a fuming mad Chuck Bass and at that moment I was scared._

"_What the Fuck were you thinking! How could you do that to me!" He said as a few tears fell from his eyes._

_I felt the lump in my throat I couldn't speak. I felt terrible, I hated to see him like this. Especially when I was the one who caused it._

"_I cant believe you Blair. You kept me from my own daughter! Are you going to say anything!"_

_I felt the tears flow over…_

"_Oh fuck you Blair your tears are not going to cut it this time!" He said getting angrier by the minute. _

"_Chuck just calm down…" Serena said._

"_Calm down how would you feel if you had a child you never knew about! Or did you know?!" _

"_Yes I knew… She was my best friend Chuck."_

_I watched as Chuck felt betrayed…_

"_Great so everyone knew but me!" _

"_I thought it was for the best…" I choked out._

"_The best? Blair I'm her father for Christ sakes!" _

"_I was young okay! I was scared and I knew you had things going for you! I didn't want to ruin your life…" _

"_I would have stepped up and would have been a man! I loved you!"_

"_I loved you to…" I said taking a step forward only to have him step back._

"_No Blair you obviously didn't love me or you wouldn't have left me. We would have worked this out together."_

"_I'm sorry Chuck…"_

"_It's a little late for that Blair…I wouldn't plan on leaving anytime soon Waldorf."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_I'm calling my Lawyer today, she is my daughter to."_

"_Um…No she don't even know you!" I said getting angry._

"_And who's fault is that? She is going to know me because I think you might be an unfit mother so I think she needs a better home!"_

_I felt my cheeks burning with anger. I smacked him across the face without second thought. I was a great mother and everyone knew that. I seen the look of anger on his face._

"_Don't you Dare tell me I'm an unfit mother Chuck Bass! She is my Daughter and I raised her good. I gave her everything I had and she has a great life! I'm a great mother do you understand me!" _

"_Lets get one thing straight Waldorf she is out daughter. Lets look at the odds to I have more money than you! I can get her like that…and I intend to do so. I will see you in court Waldorf!" I watched as Chuck exited the room and entered the living room to cool off. I knew he was staying he had a best man speech to give. I knew no matter how mad he was he was going to be there for Dan._

_I felt the tears overflow as Serena hugged me tightly. I knew he was right he had more money and I knew he could buy her custody. _

"_B he will calm down he is just upset."_

"_Yeah I know…"_

_I exited to the room were Chuck was to find him talking to Sophia. I looked at there resemblance and couldn't help but smile._

_Chuck talked to the little girl and couldn't help but smile. He already loved her and would do anything for her. She looked just like him except she had Blair's dark hair. She was a identical to him though. Her eyes her nose her mouth everything was him. _

"_So Sophia tell me were do you live?"_

"_I live in Denver Colorado…I don't really like it there though."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well mommy don't like it there. She misses Auntie S and Mommy and wants to move back here. She also says she misses daddy a lot to."_

_Chuck felt anger in him but it soon subsided to a smile. He was happy Blair at least talked about him but it was no excuse for what she had done…TBC_


End file.
